No Fun Until It’s Done!:The Art of The Reward
Alissa Ellis, PhD
Clinical Neuropsychologist and Health Sciences Clinical Assistant Professor, UCLA Semel Institute
Dr. Alissa Ellis is a clinical neuropsychologist and Director of thinkSMART® program, where she helps children, parents, and the therapists who support them build the everyday skills needed to strengthen executive functioning and the brain’s system for planning, focusing, and following through. Through practical, real-world examples, like conquering homework battles, organizing routines, and mastering motivation, Dr. Ellis will share how small, consistent strategies can make big differences at home and in school.
Ready for some truth that might sound a bit harsh? Here it is: No fun until it’s done! The idea isn’t rocket science – we don’t get to eat our ice cream until after we’ve eaten our veggies. Too often, people flip the order, getting a spoonful (or more!) of fun before the work is complete, only to find themselves stuck in a motivational malaise later–and wondering why things are so hard! Learning the art of contingent rewards is one of life’s most important skills, especially for those who value productivity. It is worth teaching to every child… and perhaps a few adults, too.
Imagine this scenario: a child runs through the door after school, chomping at the bit to begin the ultimate phone-game marathon. “But I need a break!” she protests, ignoring the English essay that is waiting for her attention. Cue the onset of the classic homework battle, and you’re asking yourself, “Why does this keep happening??” It’s happening because she has gotten into the habit of dipping into “fun” before she tackles responsibilities, making the transition from leisure to work time feel like trading a sundae for a plate of brussels sprouts. Even the best of us would bristle at those brussels!
Psychologically, starting with something irresistible and pleasurable (hello, quicksand activities!) makes shifting gears nearly impossible. These are the games, shows, or digital black holes that suck up time and feel unstoppable. The frontal lobes of kids, and yes, adults too, aren’t wired to effortlessly resist the temptation of something easy and fun when it’s presented as an option. It’s hard enough to muster the motivation for non-preferred tasks – why stack the odds against yourself or your child by setting up a backward reward system by dangling the option of something more fun? This should not be a choice.
A better solution: treat fun activities like prizes at the finish line, not distractions along the way. Make “No fun until it’s done!” the family’s motto. Short breaks are fine – in fact, they’re vital – as long as they don’t involve “quicksand-level” temptations. Once the work is finished, the sweet reward tastes even better knowing it was earned. Teaching this contingency isn’t just for kids. It’s a lifelong ability that, when challenged early and done consistently, turns into a persisting habit. So go ahead – get those to-dos done and begin your much deserved plan of fun!
I am excited to share more practical strategies to improve executive functioning at The Help Group Summit on November 14, 2025 — join us in person or online.